Disclaimer: the following features sickening amounts of cynicism, bias, hate, irrationality and a bit of bad language. SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE, VOTING PUBLIC?

In the aftermath of last night’s election, with the lonely Labour-supporting signs still standing in resilience on the fences of houses down the road, all my sleep deprived brain can do is feel a little deflated by it all. With Nick Clegg on the verge of betraying everything his party stands for by bending over and taking a feeble wad of power-jism up his arse from Dave and the majority of England seemingly inhabited by blue blooded cunts, I’m perplexed, and no number of mind-blowing Jeremy Vine animations can make me feel better about the way England lit up so blue last night. I can’t believe people could be so deluded.

I’m not going to kid myself and say Gordon Brown has been the best prime minister in our history, nor has the Labour regime proved too popular, BUT IT’S NOT BEEN THAT BAD FOR FUCK’S SAKE. I watch the East Midlands news and it really is like being repeatedly hit over the head with a fucking dead fox, I honestly never thought people were so impressionable… It’s just lamentable the way the general public have been attracted to the word CHANGE like a moth to the shine from David Cameron’s forehead.

And that’s just it, I can’t bare that these greedy, elitist bastards have been given at least partial power (the way it stands) by the moronic British public. And in some cases, it’s down to the selfishness of the Liberal vote. I know people will say ‘Oh we’ve got a right to vote for who we want’ and yeah they do have a point, but in these marginal seats in a general election against a Tory threat, it comes to a point when you have to stop being a trend-following idiot and vote tactically for god’s sake. I know I sound like an irrational Brownite, and I know it’s a sad indictment of the voting system - and we may not have this problem again - but it’s just annoying that people were so easily conned by false promises from Liberal candidates with no chance of winning. In Broxtowe the Liberal swing from Labour was 0.8% and the Tories won with an 0.7% majority. So it goes.

I find some solace in the fact that not the whole of the UK (or Scotland, Wales & NI in other words) were not fooled enough to sentence us to a Tory majority, but in many ways it feels worse for me… There’s no joyous flag waving romp to 10 Downing Street for me to sneer at, no pompous victory speech to listen to with a certain cathartic desperation, just this waiting game and impending sense of doom. I think it’s the fact of the Tories not getting a majority that means Labour really could have won this election that really feels like a kick in the balls. Of course it’s not over yet and we could yet see either Brown’s offer of a referendum or Clegg’s realisation of siding with the Tories would be party suicide wing it for a LibLab coalition, but with the knowledge of Cameron and Clegg having a nice chat on the phone looming over me as I write, I can’t help but feel somewhat downbeat. Though, as Grace famously sang in 1995; it’s not over yet.